Just what I needed

I just started reading a book, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. The book was recommended to me and I like it so far.  In case you don't already know, I have a hard time liking myself sometimes. Okay, lots of times. At this moment I'm not going to get into the "why" I struggle with with liking myself or anything like that. It's simply a statement of fact - I struggle with liking me.

I'm working on it.
And I'm making progress.

I have several close friends who know that I struggle with this liking me thing. One is my friend, writer and blogger, Joy (check out her blog - My Musical Family) And this morning Joy emailed me a link to a blog, "The Extraordinary Ordinary" written by a blogger named Heather. Joy saw her entry from yesterday, "Focus," and liked it, she said, and thought I might, too.

I wonder if she saw the Focus entry and thought of me because my Facebook status update yesterday was "focusfocusfocusfocus - it would be easier if the old dog didn't keep barking and the pup didn't keep eating socks." Yeah. It was hard to work in my home office yesterday. And I have a deadline looming over me. And focus is not my strong point to begin with. Add a deadline, crazy dogs and a house that's begging me to clean it and, oh look. Squirrel!! Yeah. Working from home is great fun some days and yesterday was one of them.

More than reminding her of my facebook status, though, I think Joy read the Focus blog and knew it would mean something to me.

Here's a snippet:
"I am sometimes out of focus and sometimes that's led me into life things that took my breath away with their bad. And sometimes I just can't get myself to change and maybe I should just know that I'm okay, just like I am and be more gentle and patient with myself."
And here's some more:
"There's not always something wrong with me, something glaringly awful to fix. Maybe I'm just me, living my story, and maybe the changes will come in their own time and even if they don't, I'm good."

Do yourself a favor and read the whole blog entry. It's short so will just take a minute. When you have more time read more of the blog. It's a good one.

There's not a whole lot more I'm going to say here. Just that I read the blog entry, I loved it, and I cried. And felt better. And less goofy. And more accepting of the times when I do feel out of focus. And more accepting of me.

Most of all, though, I felt overwhelmed that I am so lucky to have a wise friend who somehow knew, consciously or unconsciously, that  I needed to read that blog entry today.

Because it was just what I needed.
Thanks :)


Joy Riggs said…
Oh, now you made me cry. : )

I'm glad that reading the blog was what you needed. I think you're an amazing person with many talents, and I hope you remember that on those days when you're feeling out of focus.
cassi said…
That is a wonderful post ... And although we have never (yet) really *met* - in the conventional sense - I want to let you know that I have loved learning at least a little bit about who you are. I, for one, think you are an amazing and gifted woman (mother, wife, cyclist ... friend).
It's taking me a long time to like me. I mean, REALLY like me...accepting me, not just parts. So I hear you, and I appreciate you mentioning my post here.

So nice to "meet" you :)

Myrna CG Mibus said…
Thanks Joy, Cassi and Heather. It sure is nice to have friends I get to see in person and some that support me "virtually" like Cassi. And now to "meet" Heather as well.

It's amazing how one blog entry, Heather's, can touch so many people and springboard into another....Pretty cool :)
Pamela Hutchins said…
What a powerful post -- yours and Heathers. While I do not have the pleasure of knowing you "IRL", I think you are an admirable and VERY likeable person. And I know just hearing those words doesn't solve what's inside.

And, oh yeah, I like your new photograph with your profile, too. :)
Nina Patten said…
Interesting that I should read this post immediately after seeing a photo of myself and feeling wave after wave of disgust at my appearance. On top of my need to be kind, gentle and patient (as much as I am able) with my mom and mother-in-law during this stay, I don't know how much more of myself I can put on project status. Liking myself on a moment-to-moment basis is a start.

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